Текст (слова) песни: Morcheeba - Women lose weight

 
What a surprise 
Open your eyes 
Woman advisor 
 
The name of this entertainement is 
Women lose weight 
Our first years of mariage everything was just great 
But after two kids 
And a weight gain factor 
The fact is 
Now she`s completely unattractive 
Look fat chicks 
I don`t mean to sound rude 
I tell her nice hit the gym 
And don`t eat so much food 
But no 
 
Your shallow 
You need to run the course of unconditionnal love and so forth 
 
But how if desires is not there 
That`s just a lamon 
Divorces, child support alamony payments 
My unhappiness i doubt discourage 
So hurry for an easier way out of this marriage 
Meanwhile my secretary june well groomed 
When you gonna leave your wife 
I tell her soon mommy soon i assume 
Or my destiny is blue 
Intrest only 
The only thing left for me to do is to kill her 
 
What a surprise 
Open your eyes 
Woman advisor 
 
I`m gonna have to kill her 
 
Cause there`s lots which imposes divorces 
 
Send her ass right to the morgue 
 
Kill her 
 
What a surprise 
Open your eyes 
Woman advisor 
 
I`m gonna have to kill her 
 
Cause there`s lots which imposes divorces 
 
Send her ass right to the morgue 
 
My place against all shanagans 
Kinda rammed in 
Knowin` nothing about poison 
And i can`t swim 
Bad intentions pumpin 
Might as well become a nun 
Cut her lungs or the obvious robbery gone wrong 
What the catch is do i have the nerve to dispatch this 
Who could i get to help me murder this fat chick 
Guess i have to play a dude robbin on wednesday 
The day she usually goes food shopping 
Anyway long story short hit the side of her chrysler 
Sent her clean over the divider 
"You bastard" she said as the wreck went tumblin down the hill 
I thought "she has to be dead" 
Later on get a call 
(from a) Lieutenant Morgue 
(had me) leapin like a frog 
We need you at the morgue 
So i selfishly persued 
"boohoo" there was nothing else for me to do i had to kill her 
 
What a surprise 
Open your eyes 
Woman advisor 
 
C`mon ya`ll know i had to kill her 
 
`Cause there`s lots which imposes divorces 
 
Send her ass right to the morgue 
Kill her 
 
What a surprise 
Open your eyes 
Woman advisor 
 
I had to kill her 
 
`Cause there`s lots which imposes divorces 
 
Send her ass right to the morgue 
 
So you mean to tell me officer you don`t have no clue who did this hit and run 
No sir we don`t have no clues right now 
This is terrible what am i gonna tell the kids? 
Pull yourself together sir 
I`m so broken up inside i just can`t believe this 
I understand, I understand 
Catch the person who did this 
We`re gonna try sir 
Please 
 
Screamin "who done took my heart" like i was shooken up a lot 
At the funeral though everyone was lookin at me odd like i did it 
Like i was the reason my mates slain murmuring 
"I heard he was displeased with her weight gain" 
While my secretary sort of a sexy blonde can`t cook 
All she does is order from restaurants 
All of the sex she wants 
I doubt could have dressed, clothes not washed proper and house look a mess and 
Talkin to detectives that was waitin outside 
How i took a long lunch breakthen the wife died 
I done then turned pail 
And because of betrayal they indited me, gave me an impossible bail 
Good fortune to anyone admiring the rawtent 
Moral of the story is 
Desire is important 
So watch your weight 
It`ll keep you mate smitten it`s a given 
Though looking back i realised i didn`t have to kill her 
 
What a surprise 
Open your eyes 
Woman advisor 
 
I didn`t have to kill her 
 
`Cause there`s lots which imposes divorces 
 
Send her ass right to the morgue 
I killed her 
 
What a surprise 
Open your eyes 
Woman advisor 
 
I didn`t have to kill her 
 
`Cause there`s lots which imposes divorces 
 
Send her ass right to the morgue 
 
Well there you have it 
Keep thin trim 
Keep your mariage healthy 
Do you know what i mean? 
Small message from morcheeba and slick rick the ruler 
 
Peace
 

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