Текст (слова) песни: Bloodhound Gang - Vagina

 
My last girlfriend didn`t like me thought she might be, 
Most likely a dyke she just didn`t excite me, 
Lefty? Yeah but that was alright, 
She was hotter than the sun but she just wasn`t that bright, 
My mistake she was more flaky than a leper colony, 
I think a wooden clothespin would have been much better company, 
Ass like a donkey acting funky gave her "L" now she`s a flunky, 
So my love for her died quicker than a batch of Sea Monkeys, 
Early bird gets the worm spread your legs or spread the word, 
So what if I`m not the smartest peanut in the turd, 
I`m white which goes with everything but I can come in any color, 
And I`m looking for the kind of girl that reminds me of my mother, 
But it`s hard to find a girl with a viper tattooed on her tushy, 
And how many girls do you know that can play the harmonica with their pussies? 
Like em` easy and hot and sweet like a Rice Krispie Treat, gee, 
You know what I really want in a girl? Me,I need to find a new vagina, 
Any kind of new vagina, 
It`s hard to rhyme a word like vagina, 
Calvin Klein? Kind of North Carolina, Women are like dog, doo, hear me through don`t interrupt, 
It`s just the older that they are the easier they get to pick-up, 
I`d fill the generation gap clean the cobwebs from her rafters, 
Old hens would rather put out than be put out to the pasture, 
No age just ain`t a gauge I like my girls like my cheese, 
Preferably for me fat-free American singles only, 
I want my next chick anorexic, the winner is the thinner, 
Won`t have to take her skinny ass out to a fancy dinner, 
Like Sizzler she got a beef we`ll chew the fat, 
If I forget to put the seat up I can put up with her crap, 
Let her lash out and crack the whip but not in bed I don`t play rough, 
No I can`t be tied down with a girl that wants me tied up, 
Just independent like NOFX ,smart like Janeane Garafolo, 
She`d use big words to make fun of me so that I would never know, 
Bestow upon me all her wisdom of the Dewey Decimal System, gee, 
You know what I really want in a girl? Me,I need to find a new vagina, 
Any kind of new vagina, 
It`s hard to rhyme a word like vagina, 
Kevin Klein? Kind of South Carolina, 
Vagina vagina vagina vagina, 
Vagina vagina vagina vagina.
 

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