Текст (слова) песни: Bloodhound Gang - Three Point One Four

My last girlfriend didnt like me thought she might be
Most likely a dyke she just didnt excite me
Lefty? Yeah but that was alright
She was hotter than the sun but she just wasnt that bright
My mistake she was more flaky than a leper colony
I think a wooden clothespin would have been much better company
Ass like a donkey acting funky gave her "L" now shes a flunky
So my love for her died quicker than a batch of Sea Monkeys
Early bird gets the worm spread your legs or spread the word
So what if Im not the smartest peanut in the turd
Im white which goes with everything but I can come in any color
And Im looking for the kind of girl that reminds me of my mother
But its hard to find a girl with a viper tattooed on her tushy
And how many girls do you know that can play the harmonica with their pussies?
Like em easy and hot and sweet like a Rice Krispie Treat, gee
You know what I really want in a girl? Me

I need to find a new vagina
Any kind of new vagina
Its hard to rhyme a word like vagina
Calvin Klein? kindaNorth Carolina?

Women are like dog, doo, hear me through dont interrupt
Its just the older that they are the easier they get to pick-up
Id fill the generation gap clean the cobwebs from her rafters
Old hens would rather put out than be put out to the pasture
No age just aint a gauge I like my girls like my cheese
Preferably for me fat-free American singles only
I want my next chick anorexic, the winner is the thinner
Wont have to take her skinny ass out to a fancy dinner
Like Sizzler she got a beef well chew the fat
If I forget to put the seat up I can put up with her crap
Let her lash out and crack the whip but not in bed I dont play rough
No I cant be tied down with a girl that wants me tied up
Just independent like NOFX ,smart like Janeane Garafolo
Shed use big words to make fun of me so that I would never know
Bestow upon me all her wisdom of the Dewey Decimal System, gee
You know what I really want in a girl? Me

I need to find a new vagina
Any kind of new vagina
Its hard to rhyme a word like vagina
Kevin Klein?kinda South Carolina?

Vagina vagina vagina vagina
Vagina vagina vagina vagina
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