Текст (слова) песни: Zappa, Frank - The central scrutinizer

Frank Zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Warren Cucurullo (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Denny Walley (slide guitar, vocals)
Ike Willis (lead vocals)
Peter Wolf (keyboards)
Tommy Mars (keyboards)
Arthur Barrow (bass, vocals)
Ed Mann (percussion)
Vinnie Colaiuta (drums)
Jeff (tenor saxophone)
Marginal Chagrin (baritone saxophone)
Stumuk (bass saxophone)
Dale Bozzio (vocals)
Al Malkin (vocals)
Craig Steward (harmonica)

Sometimes when youre not looking he just sneaks up on you. He looks like a cheap sort of flying saucer about five feet across with a snout-like megaphone apparatus in the front with two big eyes mounted like Appletons with miniature motorized frowning chrome eyebrows over them. Along the side of his disc-like body are several sets of stupid-looking headers and exhaust hoses which apparently propel him and punctuate his dialogue with horrible smelling smoke rings. In the middle of his head we can see an airport wind sock and constantly twirling anemometer. The bottom of him has a landing light and three spoked wheels. In spite of all this, it is obvious that the way he really gets around is by being dangled from place to place by a union guy with a dark green shirt up in the roof who is eating a sandwich (pieces of which drop off every once in a while and lodge themselves near the hole where they put the oil in that makes the cheap smoke).

He hovers into view and speaks to us thusly...

Central Scrutinizer:
This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER...it is my responsibility to enforce all the laws that havent been passed yet. It is also my responsibility to alert each and every one of you to the potential consequences of various ordinary everyday activities you might be performing which could eventually lead to *The Death Penalty* (or affect your parents credit rating). Our criminal institutions are full of little creeps like you who do wrong things...and many of them were driven to these crimes by a horrible force called MUSIC!

Our studies have shown that this horrible force is so dangerous to society at large that laws are being drawn up at this very moment to stop it forever! Cruel and inhuman punishments are being carefully described in tiny paragraphs so they wont conflict with the Constitution (which, itself, is being modified in order to accommodate THE FUTURE).

I bring you now a special presentation to show what can happen to you if you choose a career in MUSIC...The WHITE ZONE is for loading and unloading only...if you have to load or unload, go to the WHITE ZONE... youll love it...its a way of life...Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha...Hi, its me, Im back. This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER...The WHITE ZONE is for loading and unloading only...If yah gotta load, or if yah gotta unload, go to the WHITE ZONE. Youll love it...its a way of life. Thats right, youll love it, its a way of life, thats right, youll love it, its a way of life, youll love it. This, is, the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER!
Другие песни Zappa, Frank:

200 Years Old
A little green rosetta
A token of my extreme
Absolutely Free
Advance Romance
Andy
Anything
Anyway The Wind Blows
Apostrophe
Are You Hung Up?
Artificial Rhonda
Baby Snakes
Bobby Brown Goes Down
Bow Tie Daddy
Briefcase Boogie
Broken Hearts Are For Assholes
Brown Moses
Carolina Hard-Core Ecstasy
Catholic girls
Cheap Thrills
City of Tiny Lites
Cletus Awreetus-Awrightus
Clowns On Velvet
Concentration Moon
Cosmik Debris
Crew slut
Cucamonga
Debra Kadabra
Deseri
Didja Get Any Onya?
Directly From My Heart To You
Disco boy
Dong work for yuda
Drop Dead
Evelyn, a modified dog
Excentrifugal Forz
Find her finer
Flakes
Florentine pogen
Flower Punk
For Calvin (and his next two hitch-hikers)
Fountain Of Love
Galoot Up-Date
Get A Little
Harry & Rhonda
Harry-As-A-Boy
He used to cut the grass
Hot Poop
How Could I Be Such A Fool
I Have Been In You
Inca roads
Jelly Roll Gum Drop
Jewish Princess
Jones Crusher
Later That Night
Lonely Little Girl
Love Of My Life
Lucille has messed my mind up
Man With The Woman Head
Mom & Dad
Mother People
Ms. pinky
Muffin Man
My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama
Nanook Rubs It
Nasal Retentive Calliope Music
No Not Now
No. No. No.
Oh No
On the bus
Outside now
Packard goose
Po-jama people
Prelude To The Afternoon Of A Sexually Aroused Gas Mask
Prologue
Rubber Shirt (Zappa
Sam With The Showing Scalp Flat Top
Scrutinizer postlude
Sofa no. 2
Stick it out
Stink Foot
Stuff Up The Cracks
Sy borg
Take Your Clothes Off When You Dance
Telephone Conversation
That Evel Prince
The central scrutinizer
The Crabb-Grass Baby
The Idiot Bastard Son
The Little House I Used to Live In
The Mammy Nuns
The Meek Shall Inherit Nothing
The Mudd Club
The Orange County Lumber Truck
The Sheik Yerbouti Tango
The torture never stops
The White Boy Troubles
Toad Of The Short Forest
Uncle Remus
Valarie
Watermelon in easter hay
Weasels Ripped My Flesh
What Ever Happened To All the Fun In the World
Who Needs The Peace Corps?
Why does it hurt when i pee ?
Wild Love
Wistful Wit A Fist Full
Wonderful wino
WPLJ
You Are What You Is