Текст (слова) песни: Zappa, Frank - Harry & Rhonda

Frank Zappa (guitar, synclavier)
Steve Vai (guitar)
Ray White (guitar, vocals)
Tommy Mars (keyboards)
Chuck Wild (piano)
Arthur Barrow (bass)
Scott Thunes (bass)
Jay Anderson (string bass)
Ed Mann (percussion)
Chad Wackerman (drums)
Ike Willis (vocals)
Terry Bozzio (vocals)
Dale Bozzio (vocals)
Napoleon Murphy Brock (vocals)
Bob Harris (vocals)
Johnny "Guitar" Watson (vocals)

RHONDA: (stage whisper)
HARRY, this is not DREAM GIRLS!

HARRY: (stage whisper)
They told me it had c-c-colored folk in it, RHONDA, and thats ALWAYS a sure sign of GOOD, SOLID, MUSICAL ENTERTAINMENT! How was I supposed to know theyd be this ugly?

RHONDA:
They pissed on us, HARRY! They fuckin pissed on us! Look at my fox!

HARRY:
I know, dear...but they pissed on me too...he did say they were INCONTINENT!

RHONDA:
Just smell this! I think we should get out of here before they do something else to us!

HARRY:
Leave? Now? At these ticket prices? Just hold your horses...it probably wasnt REAL PISS... only theater piss...they probably have a formula... some special stuff...comes right outta the fur with Woolite.

RHONDA:
Whats happened to Broadway, HARRY? Used to be you could come to one of these things and the wind would be RUSHING DOWN THE PLAIN or a fairy on a string would go over the audience...but NOW! Harry, I ask you: is THIS entertainment?

HARRY:
Youre absolutely correct, dear! So far we havent seen a single good-looking pair of legs...a single sequin-encrusted whatchamacallit ...no firm, rounded breasts! This show is a DISASTER, RHONDA! A complete and utter DISASTER!

THING-FISH:
Mmmm! Say dere...hey! Umm-hmm! Thass right! HEY YOU! You two ugly white folks...over heahhh!

As you know, de presence of carboniferous hard-core unemployables has genrally, in de historical past, GUARANTEED an evenin of upliftin FROLIC and CAVORTMENT...itd be a shame fo yall tmiss out on dis here one! Got some nice chairs fo ya, rights ovuh heahhh.

HARRY & RHONDA rise, cross to THING-FISH, and sit in the chairs he offers. They are immediately chained to them by The MAMMIES.

HARRY:
Uhhh...beg pardon? Whats going on here?

RHONDA:
Oh! Theyre touching me! HARRY! HARRY! HARRY! HARRY, do something! THEYRE PUTTING CHAINS ON ME! ILL BE STUCK TO THE CHAIR! Oh! Whatll I do? ILL MISS INTERMISSION!

HARRY:
Theyre only theater chains, RHONDA! Just some sort of...

RHONDA:
THESE ARE REAL GODDAM CHAINS, HARRY, AND THEYRE NOT GONNA COME OFF WITH WOOLITE!

HARRY:
I dont mind the way they feel...they dont bother me, honey...relax! Go with the flow...

RHONDA:
HARRY, YOU ARE AN OVER-EDUCATED SHIT-HEAD!

THING-FISH:
Look here, folks...dis only fo yo own protexium! Once we gets rollin heah, things be happnin all over de place dat could prove dangerous to persons not previously acquainted wit de SAN QUENTIM MASH- POTATOES!

RHONDA:
I want the wind to come rushing down the plain! I want fairies on a string over the audience! I want REAL BROADWAY ENTERTAINMENT! Feathers! Spot-lights! Guilt! Hours upon hours of GUILT! About my mother! About my father! About brave women, suffering at the hands of infantile, insensitive, dominating men! And what do I get? A Potato-headed jig-a-boo with Catholic clothes on! Incomprehensible duck lips! Weak bladders draining through abnorminably large organs! Jesus, HARRY! What the FUCK is going on here?

HARRY:
Simmer down! If youll just roll with the punches...and dont rock the boat, Im sure well have a lovely evening at the theater!

THING-FISH:
Thass right! We got fairies on a string fo yo ass jes a little later! Meanwhile, I blieves yall requires some updatement on de CO-LOG-NUH situatium! Sister OBDEWLLA X! Express yoseff!
Другие песни Zappa, Frank:

200 Years Old
A little green rosetta
A token of my extreme
Absolutely Free
Advance Romance
Andy
Anything
Anyway The Wind Blows
Apostrophe
Are You Hung Up?
Artificial Rhonda
Baby Snakes
Bobby Brown Goes Down
Bow Tie Daddy
Briefcase Boogie
Broken Hearts Are For Assholes
Brown Moses
Carolina Hard-Core Ecstasy
Catholic girls
Cheap Thrills
City of Tiny Lites
Cletus Awreetus-Awrightus
Clowns On Velvet
Concentration Moon
Cosmik Debris
Crew slut
Cucamonga
Debra Kadabra
Deseri
Didja Get Any Onya?
Directly From My Heart To You
Disco boy
Dong work for yuda
Drop Dead
Evelyn, a modified dog
Excentrifugal Forz
Find her finer
Flakes
Florentine pogen
Flower Punk
For Calvin (and his next two hitch-hikers)
Fountain Of Love
Galoot Up-Date
Get A Little
Harry & Rhonda
Harry-As-A-Boy
He used to cut the grass
Hot Poop
How Could I Be Such A Fool
I Have Been In You
Inca roads
Jelly Roll Gum Drop
Jewish Princess
Jones Crusher
Later That Night
Lonely Little Girl
Love Of My Life
Lucille has messed my mind up
Man With The Woman Head
Mom & Dad
Mother People
Ms. pinky
Muffin Man
My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama
Nanook Rubs It
Nasal Retentive Calliope Music
No Not Now
No. No. No.
Oh No
On the bus
Outside now
Packard goose
Po-jama people
Prelude To The Afternoon Of A Sexually Aroused Gas Mask
Prologue
Rubber Shirt (Zappa
Sam With The Showing Scalp Flat Top
Scrutinizer postlude
Sofa no. 2
Stick it out
Stink Foot
Stuff Up The Cracks
Sy borg
Take Your Clothes Off When You Dance
Telephone Conversation
That Evel Prince
The central scrutinizer
The Crabb-Grass Baby
The Idiot Bastard Son
The Little House I Used to Live In
The Mammy Nuns
The Meek Shall Inherit Nothing
The Mudd Club
The Orange County Lumber Truck
The Sheik Yerbouti Tango
The torture never stops
The White Boy Troubles
Toad Of The Short Forest
Uncle Remus
Valarie
Watermelon in easter hay
Weasels Ripped My Flesh
What Ever Happened To All the Fun In the World
Who Needs The Peace Corps?
Why does it hurt when i pee ?
Wild Love
Wistful Wit A Fist Full
Wonderful wino
WPLJ
You Are What You Is