Текст (слова) песни: Zappa, Frank - Briefcase Boogie

Frank Zappa (guitar, synclavier)
Steve Vai (guitar)
Ray White (guitar, vocals)
Tommy Mars (keyboards)
Chuck Wild (piano)
Arthur Barrow (bass)
Scott Thunes (bass)
Jay Anderson (string bass)
Ed Mann (percussion)
Chad Wackerman (drums)
Ike Willis (vocals)
Terry Bozzio (vocals)
Dale Bozzio (vocals)
Napoleon Murphy Brock (vocals)
Bob Harris (vocals)
Johnny "Guitar" Watson (vocals)

HARRY: (to THING-FISH)
Anything you say, master! Take me, Im yours!

RHONDA: (Broadway-style fake singing)
Jingle bells, Jingle bells,
Jingle all the way!
Oh, what fun it is to ride
To Chicago every day, oh...

THING-FISH:
Oooh, lawd! Lookit you, boy! Chain thoo de nipples n evvy goddam thing! You a sick white muthafucker, aintcha?

RHONDA:
Bells on bob-tail ring,
Making spirits bright!
Oh, what fun it is to ride
To Chicago every night, oh...

HARRY:
For Chrissake, RHONDA! Have you no SHAME?

THING-FISH:
Yall make up ymind yet, bouts de MAMMY o yo dreams?

HARRY:
You bet! Ive waited ALL MY LIFE for this moment! My heart is fluttering! If only I could submit myself on approval, for a limited time only...to ...to that nasty little rubber MAMMY on your knee...

THING-FISH:
SISTER OBDEWLLA X? De mystry SISTER? Yall wants tparty hearty with de minyature rubber MAMMY wit de string out de back? Yow! Dintcha get nuff buse fum de other bitch when ywas livin in de card-bod hut?

RHONDA:
HARRY...HARRY...hey! HARRY! Fucking wor-r-r-mmmmmmmmmm! I want a DIVORCE, HARRY!

HARRY:
Not now, dearest, PLEASE! This is serious! Little MAMMY, whatll it be? Hips or lips?

HARRY snatches SISTER OBDEWLLA X away from THING-FISH, bashing himself with it in an irrational manner.

RHONDA un-zips the Santa Claus costume, revealing the rubber body suit, hoping for some sign of interest from her deranged husband. There isnt any...hes beating the fuck out of himself and loving every minute of it.

She squeezes her rubber tits, as if to squirt them at him. Still no interest.

RHONDA:
Youre a wor-r-r-r-mmmmmmm! A fucking WOR-R-R-R-M-M-M-M-MMMMMMMMMMM! These are my TITS, HARRY! I have TITS! Look! LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT MY WONDERFUL TITS, YOU FUCKING WOR-R-R-R-R-MMMMMMMM! Im going to pretend Im SQUIRTING THEM ON YOU! Whoo! Wheeeee! ALMOST GOTCHA!

HARRY:
Not now, RHONDA! Ow! Oof! Oh, I love this! Hurt me! Hurt me! Oh, pull my chain, you tiny potato-headed whatchamacallit!

RHONDA:
Theyre almost squirting, HARRY! Look! Look! Whoooooo! Whooooo! Whoooo! You fucking worm!

THING-FISH:
OBDEWLLA! Is yawright? Dont be pullin de boys chain too hard dere! He gots nuthuh show tdo tmorrow! Dont put dat in yo MOUF, girl! I knows ycain hep yseff wit dat crazy muthafucker busin you like dat, but jes hang on a lil longuh...he be droppin de wad putty soon now!

RHONDA: (pinching her nipples, jiggling her tits)
Jingle bells, jingle bells...

HARRY:
Oh! This is divine!

RHONDA:
This is my PUSSY, HARRY! Look! See it? You know what Im gonna do with it, you worm? Im gonna make it FUCK SOMETHING! Thats right! You wont get any of it...because youre DISGUSTING! An I dont need you, MR. FIRST-NIGHTER! My wonderful, wonderful pussy doesnt need you! I have my BRIEFCASE, HARRY! Im going to FUCK MY BRIEFCASE! Im going to...look! Look at this! I got it right over here! There! See it? My BIG, BROWN, BRIEFCASE! MY BRIEFCASE! Its BIG, HARRY! Its full of BUSINESS PAPERS...from MY CAREER!

A tan and brown briefcase, seven feet tall, is lowered in. FRANCESCO watches it land near his window. He exits the bungalow with a can of Crisco and a violin case. n pantomime, he cautiously interrupts RHONDAS monologue, suggesting that she examine the contents of the case. It contains a strap-on dildo of such ridiculous proportions that a chain leading from just behind the head of it must be hooked to a leather dog collar around RHONDAS neck, in order to hold it up. FRANCESCO recommends the Crisco as a lubricant, daubs on a bit with a miniature dolls foot, finally indicating that she conceal her pubic hair with a cardboard box, in the manner preferred by famous singing Christians.

RHONDA reaches inside the briefcase and locates her SPECIAL ATOMIC GLASSES (with tiny doll arms reaching out through tiny cardboard boxes), and puts them on.

She reaches in again and finds an artificial hamburger with a red ribbon on it. She mounts it on top of her head, tying the ribbon in a neat bow below her chin. Ready at last, she humps the briefcase vigorously.

RHONDA: (contd.)
Im gonna put my GLASSES ON, HARRY! Im gonna put my hair up in a BUN! Then, Im going FUCK FUCK FUCK! Ha-ha-ha-hahhhhh! Look! See me? See how I got my hair up? Whooo! Im REALLY DOING IT! Unngh! Unngh!

HARRY:
RHONDA...have you no SHAME! Keep the briefcase closed, for chrissake! All your documents are falling out!

RHONDA: (as over-sized file folders emerge)
Unngh! Im GOOD! Oh God Im good! Harder! Faster! Unngh! Unngh! This is TERRIFIC! Boy, I need it so bad...

HARRY:
Those are the Warner Brothers files, arent they dear? Dont you think therell be some questions about the condition of the blue paper?

THING-FISH:
Girl! Bes be careful wit de latch!

RHONDA: (with the handle in her mouth, semi-intelligible)
Im sucking the handle now, HARRY! Look! Mmmmmm! It tastes GOOD! Mmmmmm! Mmmmmm! The handle! The handle!

HARRY:
Hurt me, OBDEWLLA! Make me whimper and beg for your tiny rubber love!

After nibbling on it as if it were a giant piece of corn-on-the-cob, THING-FISH hands RHONDA an oversized pink fountain pen with her name on the clip.

RHONDA:
Ive got a fountain pen, HARRY! Ive got a fountain pen with MY INITIALS on it! Im putting it in my mouth, HARRY! Im gonna get it wet! Im gonna stuff it up my asshole and ride the briefcase again, you disgusting perverted bastard worm! Im gonna do it! Look, HARRY! Whooo! Unngh! Unngh! God-damit, HARRY! Watch me! This is for your own good!
Другие песни Zappa, Frank:

200 Years Old
A little green rosetta
A token of my extreme
Absolutely Free
Advance Romance
Andy
Anything
Anyway The Wind Blows
Apostrophe
Are You Hung Up?
Artificial Rhonda
Baby Snakes
Bobby Brown Goes Down
Bow Tie Daddy
Briefcase Boogie
Broken Hearts Are For Assholes
Brown Moses
Carolina Hard-Core Ecstasy
Catholic girls
Cheap Thrills
City of Tiny Lites
Cletus Awreetus-Awrightus
Clowns On Velvet
Concentration Moon
Cosmik Debris
Crew slut
Cucamonga
Debra Kadabra
Deseri
Didja Get Any Onya?
Directly From My Heart To You
Disco boy
Dong work for yuda
Drop Dead
Evelyn, a modified dog
Excentrifugal Forz
Find her finer
Flakes
Florentine pogen
Flower Punk
For Calvin (and his next two hitch-hikers)
Fountain Of Love
Galoot Up-Date
Get A Little
Harry & Rhonda
Harry-As-A-Boy
He used to cut the grass
Hot Poop
How Could I Be Such A Fool
I Have Been In You
Inca roads
Jelly Roll Gum Drop
Jewish Princess
Jones Crusher
Later That Night
Lonely Little Girl
Love Of My Life
Lucille has messed my mind up
Man With The Woman Head
Mom & Dad
Mother People
Ms. pinky
Muffin Man
My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama
Nanook Rubs It
Nasal Retentive Calliope Music
No Not Now
No. No. No.
Oh No
On the bus
Outside now
Packard goose
Po-jama people
Prelude To The Afternoon Of A Sexually Aroused Gas Mask
Prologue
Rubber Shirt (Zappa
Sam With The Showing Scalp Flat Top
Scrutinizer postlude
Sofa no. 2
Stick it out
Stink Foot
Stuff Up The Cracks
Sy borg
Take Your Clothes Off When You Dance
Telephone Conversation
That Evel Prince
The central scrutinizer
The Crabb-Grass Baby
The Idiot Bastard Son
The Little House I Used to Live In
The Mammy Nuns
The Meek Shall Inherit Nothing
The Mudd Club
The Orange County Lumber Truck
The Sheik Yerbouti Tango
The torture never stops
The White Boy Troubles
Toad Of The Short Forest
Uncle Remus
Valarie
Watermelon in easter hay
Weasels Ripped My Flesh
What Ever Happened To All the Fun In the World
Who Needs The Peace Corps?
Why does it hurt when i pee ?
Wild Love
Wistful Wit A Fist Full
Wonderful wino
WPLJ
You Are What You Is